I was talking to a friend today-just catching up.  She asked how I am doing.  I thought about it for a few moments and I replied to her that I feel Alive.

What does that mean?  It’s simple.  It means that I’m aware.  My senses are open and tuned in.  I can feel my heart beating.  I’m going places, doing things, engaging with people.  You know ALIVE instead of just existing.

I feel like I did before I met He Who Cannot Be Named.  I was a busy, active, energetic, fun, positive person.  People like me and like to be around me. People enjoyed my life and my exuberance.  I didn’t fully appreciate what a wonderful feeling that was until it was gone.

Do you know what it feels like to just accept the way things are?  Do you know what it feels like when your chest is tight and your bowels are loose because you are anxious and uptight? Do you know what it’s like when each day is a commitment to the mediocre?

I remember talking to a dear friend one afternoon.  We work together and everyone had left the office except the two of us.  We turned our chairs around and began to talk about what was really going on in our lives.

I began to tell her how I had come to a place of acceptance in my life and my marriage.  And then I said, “But you know what Maria?  What if this is the best it’s ever going to be for me?  That makes me really sad.”

I remember the inside of my nose burning as the tears welled up in my eyes and looking at the deep pools of her brown eyes as her teared up too.

That was the place in which I lived each day.  As I call it, a commitment to the mediocre.

Now, my life is so much harder yet it feels so much more fulfilling.  I’m happier more often.  I lose my temper less often.  I have a backbone and a voice.  I am alive.

I just took this quiz online that I found reading one of Oprah’s newsletters.  The quiz is basically a personalysis of your.  Basically, you have to know a little bit about your likes and dislikes in order for the answers to be accurate.

I take a lot of these types of quizzes – some for work, I’ve taken the Myers Briggs test and most recently the Hermann Brain Dominance Instrument which is supposed to define my thinking preferences.

I’ve also taken the E-Harmony, Chemistry.com and various magazine quizzes.  What am I looking for?

Well to be honest, I just want to see if my answers are consistent.  It’s important to me to know my authentic self.  So, if my results are consistent, I can assume that I am answering the same types of questions in the same way.

Besides, these quizzes suck you in, right?  The one I took today asked, “Who Am I Meant To Be?”

Of course this is of some interest to me because I’m going to school so naturally I’d like to know if my chosen career field matches with my thinking/feeling personalysis.

Turns out this quiz recommends that I should that I would be a good entrepreneur, sales or marketing rep (with extensive travel), teacher, customer service rep, nurse, leadership roles in politics or education.

All of these answers are interesting because they each touch on an area in which I have worked or have considered working in the past.  Consistency.

Know Yourself Quiz