Don’t be surprised that I’m writing about Valentine’s Day and divorce at the same time. After all, I am recently divorced and wretched Valentine’s Day is coming once again to tease, stress and disappoint most of us.

I’ve only had one man in my life that lived up to all of the Valentine’s Day hype. He was a hopeless romantic and very skilled at the Wow factor of Valentine’s Day. But, when it came to commitment and marriage – well let’s just say it’s a good thing I didn’t marry him because, that relationship too, would have ended in divorce.

Fortunately, this will be a fairly inexpensive divorce. We won’t be hiring any divorce attorneys, fighting for any divorce settlements or filing any divorce papers. In fact this article is specialized divorce advice for women, only. Divorce Yourself From Valentine’s Day and save everyone a lot of trouble.

While researching this topic I discovered that there are many Valentine Scrooges out there – men and women alike. In fact, I’m not anti-Valentine. It is more accurate to say that I believe it is silly to wait for a certain day and then pine away for a gift or symbol of your significant other’s love.

And, the fact is that I am not the President of this Club. No, there are so many of us women that get our expectations violated because our partner’s idea of a Valentine’s Day gift does not live up to the hype.

Why Divorce Yourself From Valentine’s Day? I don’t mean to sound like an unromantic poop but, if I had a dollar for every year I passively/aggressively wished for a fabulous Valentine’s Day gift and was disappointed…well, you know the rest. No really, why do you want to set you and your partner up for failure? Wouldn’t it be much nicer if you could ask for, and get, what you wanted?

How Do You Divorce Yourself From Valentine’s Day? Easy, tell your partner exactly what you want. If you want a 7-course meal at a 5-star restaurant, then say so. Don’t wait for them to present you with the standard box of Russell Stover’s Chocolates, and then get pissed until next Valentine’s Day because you didn’t get what you wanted. Instead, why don’t you marry yourself to the idea that you can get exactly what you want, it’s completely affordable, it screams “you”, and doesn’t disappoint upon opening.

How Do I Get What I Really Want? Have a conversation with your partner and set some boundaries. For instance, you both pledge to spend no more than $25 on a Valentine’s Day gift. Then, make a list of things you want within the agreed upon price range, and exchange it with your partner. In this way you’ve accomplished two things.

First, you’ve taken all of the stress, guess work and yes, some of the romanticism (but not all of it) out of the mix. You’ve replaced it with a guarantee that your expectations will not be violated this year. Instead, you are going to receive something you really want which, if we are honest, is two-fold: (1) the effort required to go and buy you a present and (2), that fabulous bottle of perfume you’ve been wanting since Christmas.

These principals can be applied to single ladies as well. Instead of pining away for a significant other to buy us the perfect, heartfelt, romantic gift, why don’t you treat yourself? Sounds simple and easy, right?

That’s because it is!! I’ve scoured the web over the last couple of days looking for Divorce Yourself from Valentine’s Day gift ideas. Let me tell you, this wasn’t easy. Fortunately, I am tenacious and I came up with three really cute and fun Divorce Yourself From Valentine’s Day gifts.

First, if you’re still angry over your recent breakup or divorce, the just right gift for you is this little guy.

He comes in several different colors (black, silver, pink, green, red) and is just the right accoutrement to the modern woman’s kitchen. I think he is the perfect tongue- and-cheek tribute to the relationship that didn’t work out.

For the woman who looks modern but thinks traditional, then the ticket for you is this little organizer.

If you’re like me, you’re completely digital but there is that part of you that still wants the little red organizer in her bag. It’s like our security blanket. This one is all tricked out with cute retro pictures dotted with modern satirical humor to remind us that “we are women, hear us roar!” This organizer is inexpensive enough that you can get one for you, your mom and even your favorite girlfriend. Refills will be available at a later date.

For those of us that just want to be loved, or should I say feel loved… For the Incurable Romantics wear this so everyone can see that YOU truly are loved.

So now that you are armed with the confidence to ask for what you want, or at least go out and get it, I wish you the best Divorce Yourself From Valentine’s Day, ever!

Consolata