Looking at the February 2009 cover of the O magazine it doesn’t appear that Oprah could ever lose it. She looks sexy, sensuous and flirty – just right for Valentine’s Day, right? Well I did lose it today – BIG TIME!!!
Whenever this happens I feel so guilty and ashamed. I mean, I’m supposed to be an adult, right? I’m supposed to know how to deal with my emotions. At the very least, I’m supposed to be able to count to 10 and take a deep breath.
Yeah, whatever. This is real life folks. It has been a really long day. First, I’ve been awake since 4:00 this morning. That was the third time I was up last night. The first time was midnight, then 2:00AM. Seems The Baby has decided she no longer wishes to sleep through the night thus, I don’t sleep either.
As an aside, may I comment that the baby monitor must have been conceived by a man? I’m sure he thought it would be a great idea if Baby Mama could hear what was going on in the other room while the baby is sleeping. Never once did he consider that (1) you will grow dependent on it, (2) you will feel guilty if you don’t turn it on, and (3) HAVING IT ON WILL KEEP YOU UP ALL NIGHT LONG.
Of course this wouldn’t occur to him because Baby Daddy can sleep through Life Flight landing on the roof of the house. There’s not a chance in H-E- double hockey sticks that he is going to wake up when the little stinker begins to whimper, then do that coughing thing, then the full blown cry because it’s feeding time.
The slightest change in breathing pattern and I’m wide awake and sticking a mirror under The Baby’s nose to assure myself death has not stolen her from me. I need therapy.
Anyway, back to my anger problem. I have known for a long time that anger is an issue of mine. It is the crux of every failed relationship I’ve ever had.
I come by my anger organically. The source of my anger has been removed but the effects still remain. I recognize and freely admit that I frequently have trouble controlling my anger.
I’m constantly seeking new ways to deal with my anger. I actually do see a therapist and this is the primary issue we are “working on.” This list is long and deep but this is the biggy!
Martha Beck, the Life Coach expert for O magazine has some really great advice on how to deal with what she calls your “bête noire,” or literally your black beast.
Basically this is the thing that you really hate about yourself (or someone else); a bugbear. What a perfect description of that thing that lurks within me. The thing I hope never gets out into the public.
We all have what I like to call “The Inside Consolata” and “The Outside Consolata.” The former stays at home where people know and understand her. The Inside Consolata is forgiven for her transgressions against her friends, family members and children. Should the Inside Consolata escape into the outside world she should not expect the same reprieve. Therefore, we keep close tabs on the bête noire, lest she show up at an inconvenient time or place.
That’s what happens to people with an anger problem. They don’t have the skills to manage their anger so it will probe its way into an encounter with a coworker, fellow student or even an innocent cashier. And hell hath no fury like the unleashed Inside Consolata.
Thank goodness for Oprah and her association with Martha Beck. Thank goodness for her candor and great understanding that we all have our own nemesis that lives within and we all want to tame it.
She offers a genius drill called the Lifeline exercise. It is specifically designed to help us notice what triggers our beast. Often when you know where it comes from, it is much easier to work out a strategy to tame it. I’m glad I found this in the O Magazine.
As usual Oprah has provided us a solution for a very common problem and illustrated once again how much alike we really all are.
Viva La Oprah!
My Oprah Power Links:
Eight Steps to Conquer the Beast Within
What Oprah has to Say About Anger
