I was reading my daily dose of the Oprah newsletter and this article caught my eye.  “Five Things Happy People Do,” says I.  “Wonder what that’s all about.” 

 What that really means is that I wonder if I’m meeting the prescribed criteria for a “Happy” person.

 I clicked on and I found some interesting content.  I’ve weaved the author’s comments with my own.  If you go to read the article for yourself, you’ll notice it’s different than what is published here.  This is what I found: (excerpted from the O Newsletter)

 As much as we all think we want it, many of us are convinced, deep down, that it’s wrong to be happy (or too happy). Whether the belief comes from religion, culture, or the family you were raised in, it usually leaves you feeling guilty if you’re having fun.

1.     Happy people find their most golden self. 

What is making you happy?  Material things, shopping, approval addictions or are you engaged in a more centered cerebral happiness?  Researchers say that, people that are purposefully engaged in life, (pursued self-development) weighed less, slept better, and had fewer stress hormones and markers for heart disease than others.

 I have to tell you that when I read this I was really encouraged.  This idea of being fully alive is exactly what I was talking to my therapist about just a couple of days ago.  For example, I know that I have a full plate – a VERY full plate but I don’t feel as though I’m trying to avoid the issues in my life.  Rather I feel like I’m trying to engage in life so I can heal the issues that I have. 

 I do truly feel so much more alive and happy than I did just a few short months ago.  It’s amazing what a change in lifestyle can do for your attitude.

 2.       Happy people design their lives to bring in joy. 

The author says,“Analyzing one’s life isn’t necessarily easy and may require questioning long-held assumptions. A high-powered career might, in fact, turn out to be unfulfilling; a committed relationship once longed for could end up being irritating with all the compromising that comes with having a partner. Dreams can be hard to abandon, even when they’ve turned sour.”

 I agree with her assertion that the things society (your mother) tell you will bring you happiness may not fulfill your needs.  For example, I left a very lucrative job to be more fully engaged in my husband and my marriage.  I wanted to be so happy in my marriage, even when my gut was telling me to GET OUT!!! 

 When I finally did take the leap – even though being married and committing myself to my husband and children was a dream of mine, it wasn’t making me happy.  It had definitely turned sour and it was time to let go of the dream and engage in something new.

 The key to this idea is DESIGN.  Are you passively letting life happy to you or are you actively engaged in the lifestyle that is going to bring you happiness?  Researchers say that the latter is likely to leave you feeling more satisfied and “happier.”

 3.       They avoid “if only” fantasies. 
“If only I get a better job…find a man…lose the weight…life will be perfect. Happy people don’t buy into this kind of thinking.” 

 I can’t really add anything else to this.  I don’t engage in this kind of thinking.  I think it is negative, counterproductive and only serves to point out what you DON’T have rather than what you DO have.  It’s a downer and if you remember, I like to keep my cup ½ full 98% of the time.

4.       They put best friends first. 

Think of the one friend you have who you never experience that awkward, uncomfortable silence.  Do you have one or do you have a whole bunch of acquaintances?  Don’t measure your number of friends by the number on your Facebook profile.  Measure your friends by the quality of time that you spend with them. 

 5.     They allow themselves to be happy. 
Change your mind.  You can save the world and be engaged in your own personal happiness at the same time. Take 15 minutes to meditate in the morning or better yet, say NO instead of agreeing to do that thing you think you “should” do.  You have PERMISSION to treat your birthday as your own personal National Holiday.  I’ve just given it to you.  Now go forth and engage in a reasonable amount of narcissism while you volunteer a couple hours a week at the local Boys and Girls Club. 

My Oprah Power Link  5 Things Happy People Do – By Gabrielle LeBlanc