Today is our 6 year wedding anniversary. Today is a sad day for me. In 4 days our divorce will be final. That will be a sad day for me as well.
Four months ago I was a very angry woman. I felt powerless, walked upon, unappreciated and worthless. The manner in which we interacted with one another made me feel like that. I longed for a little bit of kindness, honesty, nurturing and love from you. I received neglect, dishonesty and apathy.
I became so angry that I could not even speak to you with any measure of respect. My complete disdain for you was evident with each word I uttered. I did not feel good about the way I treated you. I did not feel good about the example I was setting for our children.
Today I am much happier. Today I love and nurture myself. I don’t wait to receive it from you.
I believe I was a good wife to you. I believe I tried to make you happy. I believe that I put your needs before my own. I believe the exact opposite about the kind of husband you were to me.
You thought I measured you by how much money you made. Money was not my measuring stick for you. What mattered was the way you treated me. You did not value or respect me. You resented me and acted as though you were jealous of me.
I believe I am a good mother. I believe I am more capable and inspired to be a better mother than you or yours give me credit for. I believe I can raise my children to be good, honest, productive citizens and never take one iota of advice from your family. I know that I am exponentially a better mother than mine was to me. I take pride in that.
I think your mother had far too much influence over our marriage. I think our marriage would have survived better if we never would have moved to Montucknut. I think when we moved to here, you no longer had a use for me. Your mother was here to take care of you. I was just extra baggage; a vessel to carry your children – never your wife.
I think today your mother has far too much influence over you and our children. I don’t think your mother encourages you to be the best man that you can be. I believe that she cripples you and makes you depend on her. I think she has made you weak.
I believe you had the power to change and you chose not to. I believe you had the power to create a happy life for us but you chose to indulge in your own vices.
I believe you could have reached out to me and I would have responded to you. If only you would have told me you were struggling, scared, worried or needed help. If only you would have communicated with me.
Living inside of you there is a tender-hearted, kind, sweet, smart and lovable man. I wish you would have let him be my friend, lover and husband. I wish you would have nurtured our relationship and given it the attention it deserved. I wish you would have put me, our marriage and our children first.
So, Happy Anniversary for the last time.